You Know You're In Love
by RimZtheNonForgiveR
Summary: Five aphorisms of love and how Dante and Lady go about to prove them true…in their own way.


**A/N: **No comment.

**Disclaimer: **If I was CAPCOM, instead of making re: orc (yes, I'm _still_ stuck on that! Vector and Bertha looked promising, damnit!), I would've made the HD collection of RE games 1-4 just like they did for DMC. Bet they would've sold more.

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1. When you eat her cooking no matter how much it may suck.  
(The way to a man's heart is through his stomach, right?)

.

.

.

"You know, I just read that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach."

"_Bullshit_," At his desk, Dante stretched out from his previous laid back position, bare feet pressing to the wooden floorboards beneath him as he straightened out in his seat. Feeling his mouth quirk to the side at the prospect of causing trouble, he gestured with a thumb to the attractive blackette outwardly unaware of the upcoming distress Trish's seemingly innocent comment posed on her person. "She can't cook to save her life."

"Go to hell, you bastard!" From her spot on the sofa, Lady whipped her head around, narrowed mismatched orbs glaring into his icy blue ones. "Do I look like Chef Boyardee to you?"

"Chef Boy_ladee_ maybe," he shrugged casually, grinning when the woman gave a scoff at his awesome come-back. He was getting better at those. Well, that and riling her up. He hoped that never got old. Tilting his head to the side-he knew how much that got on her nerves- he continued, "But as far as I'm concerned, both of you guys' food is crappy."

Lady gave another scoff, returning her gaze back to the sit-com on TV she had been watching before she was rudely interrupted.

She lazily ran a hand through her short and glossy locks, missing how the devil hunter frowned when her attention was no longer focused on him. "I don't know why you're complaining now. You never have anything to say when you're eating it."

"I don't say anything because I value my life."

"So, what?" she inquired, hearing the familiar sound of wood scraping against wood. Great, he was getting up. "You don't value your life now?"

"No, it's not that. I just thought I'd let you know. Don't wanna die of food poisoning anytime soon."

"Screw off! It's not like you can do any better." she finally snapped, unintentionally turning to watch his slow approach.

She knew damn well her food (If you could call it that after she was done with it) wouldn't kill him. Her food was never undercooked, the issue was that she had a tendency to _over_cook things. She absentmindedly wondered if her destructive nature had anything to do with it.

But that wasn't the point! Give her a demon and she'd slaughter it no problem. Cooking on the other hand, just wasn't her thing. She didn't have the patience for that shit. The only reason she attempted to try out her culinary skills was because Dante always complained when she didn't feed him.

Then again, Dante was _always_ complaining about something or another.

"Actually,"-speaking of the half-devil- "I bet I can do _way_ better." He grinned cockily, a ring made of white gold hanging from the thin silver chain around his neck gleaming as he passed under the shop's overhead light. "I make a _mean_ Mac n' Cheese after all."

"I'm pretty sure anyone can make a 'mean' Mac n' Cheese, Dante. The box comes with instructions."

"Hey! I can make it without looking at the instructions." He declared proudly. Lady was not impressed.

"Just goes to show how much you depend on boxed food items."

"…" Dante paused on his last step, grin freezing in place before it slowly faded into a pout. Sinking to one knee beside the onyx-haired woman, he settled his forearms on the arm of the couch, the tight, black fabric of his shirt stretching across his torso with the motion.

"Why're you always picking on me-?"

"Oh, _shut up_," she rolled her eyes, exasperated. "You started it."

"No, I didn't."

"Yes, you did."

"I didn't."

"You _did_."

"Nuh-uh."

"Uh-huh." She flicked him on the forehead.

Sulking, cobalt irises peeked out at her from within a curtain of snowy-white bangs.

Giving her his best innocent expression that, judging by the huntress' deadpanned expression, had zero effect, Dante moved his face closer to her own, close enough to feel her soft exhales against his face when she didn't retreat.

Not that he expected her to.

Dropping the silly façade, his eyes lowered to pink, petal soft lips before they traveled back up to meet bi-colored orbs shadowed by sooty lashes. He had always loved her eyes. To him, they were her best feature. And, if you ever saw her up close or knew her on a personal level-both unattainable goals to males unknown where the possessive half-devil was concerned- that was something to be said.

His half-lidded eyes stared into her gem like ones that exact moment, his lips a hair's breadth away from touching hers as he waited-albeit impatiently- for her to close the small space between them and let their mouths meet. He could feel his heart pound against his ribcage in anticipation, as was usual when it came to this particular female.

"_Nuh_," this time when he spoke, his tone was of a breathy quality, the huskiness in his voice meant for the seduction of getting what he wanted. "_Uh_."

Lady felt the familiar tickle of laughter bubble forth from her throat before she could hold it back. Her chuckles escaping in soft puffs of air that washed across the man's face. She watched through the heavy veil of amusement as his blue eyes flashed in excitement, shaking her head slowly as she took in his eager expression.

He truly was alike to a young child vying for his mother's attention every moment of the day. Except this was Dante she was talking about, so there was a possibility he was worse. He was, after all, an attention whore.

Deciding to take pity on him, she leaned forward the rest of the way, the collar of her white button-up shifting with the movement enough to expose a small glimpse of a thin silver chain similar to the one Dante wore before she captured his bottom lip between her teeth.

Both of their eyes fell shut at the sensation. Dante sighing into the kiss as one of his hands traveled up her arm then through her hair before cupping the back of her head to push her closer to himself. Releasing his lip after a soft suckle to the firm flesh, she tilted her head to the side to press her lips fully to his, feeling his mouth move against hers hungrily.

Pushing her closer still, his tongue came out to brush against her moist bottom lip, a growl rumbling throughout his chest as he felt her pull back. Eyes snapping open at the motion, he focused his stare on her, the frustration evident on his expression slowly fading to comprehension as he followed her gaze cast off to the side.

Icy blues eyeing the scene before him, Dante cursed under his breath as he took in the sight of the blonde demoness seated on the couch beside theirs. He could see that her eyes were _overly_ focused on the magazine clutched in her grasp, but her shoulders were shaking in silent laughter. He had no doubt that she found the previous spectacle nothing short of amusing.

Pale lips down turning into a frown, he raked a calloused hand through his white locks, frustration once again making an appearance.

The two really weren't big on the whole PDA thing. In public, the most he could truthfully say they did in front of other people was playful (and sometimes not so playful) bickering and subtle flirting. The bigger things like intimate contact, whether that be kissing or…other things, was usually saved until they were alone in the privacy of their own home.

And they were currently occupied in said home, which was why he found it so _annoying_ that he had to hold back when all he really wanted to do was simply ravish her because they had company.

He had half a mind to tell Trish to "_Beat it_."-surely she had something or perhaps _someone_ to do- and was in the process of doing so until he felt something soft brush against his stubble-rough cheek. Turning his attention to the beauty by his side, he was just in time to see her hand fall back to her lap as she set her 'stern' gaze-he could see playfulness dancing about in her teal-russet irises- on him.

"Stop starting trouble." she ordered. Whether she was referring to their earlier squabble or she read his mind and knew he was about to get at Trish-he didn't doubt the first but was willing to bet it was the second- he wasn't sure.

Stretching over, she placed one last quick peck to the corner of his mouth before settling down into the cushion the red couch provided her with, her attention once again focusing on the corny comedy showing on television.

In her peripheral she watched as he grinned lazily up at her. Clicking her tongue disapprovingly, she rolled her eyes.

Obviously, that wasn't going to be happening anytime soon.

~O*O*O~

It was the lack of a warm body beside his own that roused him from his slumber, but it was the smell that led him into the kitchen.

Standing in the threshold that led into the kitchen, he looked on in interest as Lady and Trish stood at the worn wooden table, both too observed in staring into the dark recesses of a white and pink ceramic jar to notice him.

He scratched at his bare chest as he stepped into the room, his entrance garnering the other two's attention. He took another step closer to the table, not bothering to cover his mouth as it stretched into a yawn. Through sleep-fogged eyes he watched as Lady seemed to grow stiffer the closer he came, while Trish on the other hand, seemed to become exceedingly amused.

Coming to a stop, he leaned over the jar, curious to the dark-haired woman's discomfort, and nodded to the piece of pottery as he was unable to construe its contents.

"What's in here?" he inquired, voice laden with sleep.

"Ashes."

"Shut up, Trish!" Huffing in indignation, Lady crossed her arms over her chest defensively, sending the blonde demon a poisonous look before she turned to Dante. "They're sugar cookies."

"They _were_." Trish added unhelpfully, ignoring the sharp look Lady sent her way. "Now they're just inedible."

"Hey! They can still be eaten. They're just a bit well-done, that's all."

"No, no. You see, when something's _well-done_ it usually means it's cooked right through the middle, but it's still edible. _These_ _things_, however," she took another peek into the jar, "are burnt."

"Are not!" Lady argued, bringing a hand up to gnaw at her thumbnail. Trish rolled her eyes.

"You go ahead and think what you want, honey, I'm still not eating them."

"Bitch…"

Laughing loudly at their antics, he reached into the cookie jar, grabbing one of the many treats residing there before he pulled it out, his laughter coming to an abrupt end.

As much as he didn't want to, he had to agree with Trish. Perhaps these things _used_ to be cookies. Possibly before they were taken out of the freezer and put into the oven where they met their untimely demise under the-apparently- (un)watchful eye of the huntress. But that time was long gone.

Dante had had sugar cookies before since Patty was such a big fan of making them during the winter holidays. They were soft little delights of a sandy color that melted in your mouth with no trouble whatsoever.

_These_, on the other hand, were…well, if he were being honest with himself, were _not_.

First off, they were hard. That right there was a cause to question the edibility of the…delights(?). Next, they were not of a sandy nor were they even of a golden-brown color. The closest he could get to describing them was borderline dark chocolate to burnt, which was bad considering this was supposed to be a sugar cookie. And last, but not least, these things looked like they were more liable to break your teeth than melt in your mouth.

Gulping thickly at what was most likely to come, he snuck a quick peek at the creator of the horrendous delicacies, his eyes meeting with half-lidded bi-colored ones.

'_Give me a reason_.' was what her face seemed to say.

And although it was more than likely he would survive whatever it was she would throw at him if he made an attempt to joke his way out of this, he wasn't in the mood to deal with pain this early in the morning.

So, steeling his shoulders, he brought the used-to-be-a-treat up to his mouth, his teeth coming down on it with an audible crunch-_Oh god!_- chewing a good while before he finally swallowed. Man was he glad he had strong bones. If they were made of anything less, he was sure he would've chipped a tooth.

"You know," he started, bringing the last bit to his mouth and choking it down with a straight face, "If you still have your teeth left after you get through the tough exterior, these're pretty good." Dusting his hands off of remaining crumbs, he turned to Lady, baby blue irises twinkling as he winked at her charmingly.

"…jerk." Her shoulders slumping slightly in relief at the admission, her features twisted into a small scowl. Leave it to Dante to compliment while at the same time insulting her…Or maybe he was insulting her while at the same time complimenting? You could never really tell when it came to him…

Shrugging the question off mentally as she couldn't bring herself to care, she watched as Dante took the cookie jar under his arm, making a quick stop at the refrigerator to pull out his tomato juice before starting for the front room, Trish hot on his trail.

No doubt she was trying to talk him out of a potential stomach ache since he planned on eating everything-crumbs and all- in that jar. And knowing Dante and his stubbornness to listen to reason once he had his mind set on something, he wouldn't be convinced.

Alone in the kitchen, the early morning sunlight shining through the window and bathing over her slender form ethereally as she listened to the bickering going on in the next room, Lady smiled softly.

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**A/N:** Ugh! Do I suck at romance or do I suck at romance? ***re-reads last sentence*** Yeah, I'm not really not giving you a choice. I won't lie to you guys, I didn't plan on going over 1,000 words, but alas, I failed…horribly…to be exact-It was a FAIL by 1,376 words. ***drops head on desk painfully*** FML. I hope you found this funny, I'm one of those ppl that laugh at everything so I'm not really sure. Well, that's all I have to say. Thanx for reading!

Up next on _You Know You're In Love_:

2. When you take a bullet for her with no hesitation.  
(…Or a poison-tipped claw. Whichever comes first.)


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